Stop partnering with confusion and chose a sound mind
I know that one thing the darkness is using very often is confusion.
Survivors of ritual abuse are dealing with lots of confusion. Their brain was programmed and confusion came also in through abuse and torture from those, who were supposed to love and protect them.
Sometimes the whole life of a survivor feels like nothing else than lies and confusion.
Confusion makes room for fear. Confusion can be overwhelming and paralysing.
But we don’t have to stay there.
We can have a sound mind in Jesus.
We can stop partnering with confusion.
It’s possible to give the confusion to Jesus and to let Him renew our mind and also our programmed brain.
I know that it can be hard to get rid of confusion, but I want to challenge you to try it.
If you need help in your healing journey or if you have any questions how to stop partnering with confusion, feel free to contact us.
For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7)
Here is a little story from Ely’s healing journey that hopefully will encourage you to walk your own healing journey and to choose clarity and sound mind.
Be blessed!
Choose Clarity.
I was listening to lies my whole life long. I was programmed to believe lies. My brain works good in believing lies.
Progams only run and work with lies. They will tell you, that somebody will die if you don’t obey- and if you dare to not obey, they will kill someone… kill someone you love, maybe even kill your own baby, your own child, someone you only wanted to protect, you wanted to care for. Someone… who was killed because of your disobedience.
I know that programmings are making my brain go in directions „normal“ (not programmed) people’s brain would never go. I know that my brain is doing things that are totally irrational and far away from every logic. But just because I know that, doesn’t mean I’m able to change it. It’s not that easy. Years and years of torture, programming, killing and splitting my soul and mind in so many pieces cannot be overcome by just the knowledge that my brain works different, that I am save now, that the torture has stopped, that I am allowed to breathe and think.
I was frustrated to know on the one hand, that I am save now, that I can chose and on the other hand experience the fact, that it’s not that easy… my brain still works in a different mode. Programmings are real. They still exist. And there are so many I ned to overcome.
Listening to the lies of the Cult again and again just re-programmed my brain. Knowing that so many parts of me believe the lies left me in despair and frustration. Knowing that I believe such lies gave the self-hatred more power.
It was eating me up- from the inside. It paralysed me… Who am I and will I ever be able to be free, to choose freely, to walk in a freedom I never was allowed to experience before?
Whenever I listen to those (and other) lies again- confusion grew.
I was so confused.
I knew I should be free. Because there is freedom in Christ! He came to bind the broken hearted and to set the captives free!
And I was still caught in programmings, mind control, dissociation, shame, trauma, frustration… I knew healing takes time. Y’shua never promised me an easy going, fast journey to wholeness… and nevertheless- everything in me felt just wrong.
And I started to realise- the more I am confused, the more others inside are confused too… and sometimes there is a wave of confusion rolling over us, rolling over me- and when this wave is rolling over me, I don’t feel safe at all. I cannot find any safety in any of my relationships, not in myself, not in my family and friends, nowhere- and most of the time then I don’t dare to just scream His Holy Name and ask for His clarity, His safety, His presence in all my chaos.
I don’t dare to do this, because of all the programming- I am even confused in this.
BUT- HE IS THE HOPE. HE IS THE FREEDOM. HE PAID IT ALL- and HE said- IT IS FINISHED.
And when I was sitting again in my huge chaos of confused thoughts, programmed and learned lies about myself, my God, my relationships, feeling totally unsafe; when I felt like I am drowning in an ocean of confusion- I just asked Him „Y’shua can I give you my confusion? Would you please take it from me? I want Your clarity, Your discernment, Your sound mind. Please, can You take away my confusion?“
And HE answered: „Absolutely. I don’t want you to be confused.“
And He took away my confusion. I wasn’t drowning anymore. I was able to think and breathe. I was able to see things clearer.
He wanted to give me something in exchange for my confusion. He offered me a beautiful crystal-diamond flower. He said I can take it out of His hands. It’s mine. It belongs to me. A gift from Him.
I told Him I cannot take it. I can’t just come to Him now- the way I am. Look at me Jesus- I was just some minutes ago drowning in the ocean of confusion. Now I am still not very well, sitting here- and you are perfect. My God, the holy King, my Saviour. I cannot come. I can’t take this…look how beautiful this flower is. I just cannot. It is not that easy!! He smiled and answered: „Ely, it is that easy. I am here. Waiting for you. This flower is only for you. It’s yours. Yours alone. You can just come. I am here. Right here with you. Stand up, go those very few steps, come to me, take my gift. It’s free.“ And I was still sitting there, wondering if He really meant it… saying again: „But Y’shua! It’s not that easy. You know where I come from! You know my story. You know my programming. You know what happened, when I tried to connect! You know that there is so much what we still need to work through, you know me, you know my failing, my despair, my black and weak spots!! It’s not that easy!!!“
And He was still standing there, coming one step closer to me, with the crystal flower in His one hand and His other hand stretched out to me, reaching out to me. The King of the whole Universe, my Saviour, reaching out to me, the one who was still sitting in the mud of a former ocean of confusion.
„Ely,“ He said, „It is that easy. I know it. It is that easy, because I am here I am with you, because I paid the price for all of this. And yes! I know you. I know all your parts. I know each and every piece of your shattered being. I know all the deepest wounds, the secrets, I know each and every programming, I know how hard you were fighting so far. I know it all. I know everything you did and everything that was done to you. Everything I know all the things you don’t even remember yet because they are still to hurtful. I know it all. Everything. I chose you long before you chose me. And yes- very often it is not that easy for you. Very often you have to fight a battle that is so hard for you. But this time- I am telling you- it is that easy. Get up. And come to me. Right here. Right now.“
And while HE said this- a tear was running down His face. A tear that gave me the permission to just cry too. And while I cried, I stood up, made two steps in His direction and was with Him. He took my face, collected my tears and smiled with His eyes full of love. And He offered me the flower again.
„Will you take it now?“ And I was able to take His beautiful gift…. This precious diamond-crystal flower.
I looked at this wonderful gift and felt so blessed and He said: „This, my Precious, is a reminder for you, that you can always chose clarity! Yes, it might be harder some days, yes you will still have to fight your way though the programming, but you can chose clarity. You can chose! I offer you clarity, sound mind and discernment. You can chose. And I want you to remember something else- You are allowed to say NO to confusion. You are allowed to say no.“
I looked at Him and at His precious gift, I could see so much light and when I said: I chose your clarity and I say No to confusion, something around me broke.
He broke the confusion over and around me. Because He is the Truth and there is no confusion in Him.
copyright Elana Aly 2024All rights reserved
