discover His presence
A look with Jesus in to John 13
There was a day, when I looked out on My beloved disciples, knowing who would accuse Me and I choose to love. I knew what was about to happen, the pain, the torment and the accusation I would face. I felt it all...... I could discern and feel it coming... But I choose love. I did not choose fear. Because I knew, love. I was raised by love. I was trained and was Love, and there was no room for fear in Me....... My physical body felt it; the demonic oppression that waited... lingered to land on me with every thought, hoping I would partner with it. But no. I would not. I was in constant dialogue with My Father. I had big ears in the spirit tuned to Him. Although the chatter of the enemy was there, My eyes were fixed on the prize. I saw you. I saw the others, My beloved ones who would come to know and love Me... Who I had made from eternity past and planned to place on the earth at the precise moment in history, for the full revelation of My heart to be manifest. I was so in Love with you, My bride, I was overwhelmed by love, and yet My body was still in the earth, facing the betrayal. It is hard to love when you face betrayal. I was dying for the bride I loved, while being betrayed. My gaze was fixed in heaven, not just on My father, but on My future bride. I was ready to love her at any cost. I could see ahead, to the “no spot, no wrinkle” moment of her radiance. And so I could be there, washing her feet, in that moment....... In the midst of My enemies, showing love, I know it’s hard to wrap your brain around, but I loved Peter, and John, Andrew and Thomas, all of them, from a place of future love. I saw them for what they were through the spirit. I was never lacking in discernment. I saw their humanity and their glory. The glory I was to give them; the love they would partake of as only I could give it. How I longed to bring them into full communion with the Father. I saw not the test as much as the Glory. Yes there were things I did not want to drink...... I was referring to the cups of wine in the Seder.. Yes, the plagues, the killing of the first born. I of course never wanted to be separated from My father....I wanted to bring my bride to the Father... so she could never be parted from His side. I sent a fountain of blood to wash over her so that it speaks forever in the heavens of our covenant love. I never had fear, like you have fear. I had a passionate longing.... to bring her into more: more of My love, more of My joy. I never wanted to leave her feeling destitute or forsaken for more than a day. Three days felt like forever, before I could come and confirm My love to my bride on the earth. I wanted to hear her heart beat with Mine for the first time since sin entered creation. I longed for that....And now you are here. Listen, the things which threaten to bury your peace are not the real deal. The things which threaten to separate you from Me... those are....... I need you to be ever attuned to My love, ever constant, ever drawing near amidst the mystery...... Although I knew what would happen on the cross I still had limited knowledge on earth... I knew what the Father told me; what We discussed at length, but He did not tell me everything... not because He did not love Me, but to overcome, I needed to rest in His love, just as you do..... I needed to come to a place of trusting Him with my whole being. It had to be tested as well....and it was.... and I won the victory. I trusted Him through the unknown. I obeyed through what felt like betrayal. Yet the difference in My father and those who really betrayed Me was tangibly evident. You could know this through discernment too. The Father’s love left a lasting promise stirring in My heart amidst the pain. There was no lingering promise from the disciples, just a raw void and the promise from My Father that all would be well.......and then there was John the beloved.
He would care for My mother I knew, because I gave Him the grace to bear the shame and to love me deeply amidst the unknown, even in the questions and in the abandonment. We were never far apart, him and I...just waiting for the moment when all could be explained. I think that is that hardest part for Me: waiting while my children, suffer... knowing I love them deeply, knowing that to love them I must not explain. I must wait to strengthen them in the journey and prepare them to love when they don’t see ahead. Love must conquer all: abandonment, betrayal rejection. Love must conquer every heart. You see that is the supreme victory. This is where I rob the enemy of his prey, when love manifests regardless of circumstances. When power, prestige, fear and abandonment cannot alter the course of love; then we have won beloved. This is the victory. Love never fails. So you see it must be tested ...but you are winning. You are passing the test. You are already learning to love deeply, but I will show you more. Honor, that which you have been crying out for, is not the ability to turn a blind eye. It is the ability to wash their feet: stinky dirty, mud caked and manure, knowing they will betray you....
Let me tell you a truth... You will NEVER be abandoned by My Father. It may feel like it (emotions lie) but I will never leave or forsake you. You will never be removed from My love. You will always be fiercely held in My love and majesty. The darkness can never overwhelm My love. My love is far greater than the deepest darkness. Far greater than the deepest earthly betrayal. Far stronger than the furthest star’s gravitational field...... There is no gravity in the universe stronger than My love for you. It is relentless. It is fierce. It is extravagant. I love you immensely. I call you to love immensely even when you can’t see, because that is when love wins the war. That is when My strongest, most resilient champions are born into love. Love suffers long and is kind...... I am asking you to wear that kind of love. I will demonstrate your love, MY love through you, throughout the earth if you will learn to hang on, through the storm. Hang on through the fire and let My love be the unshakeable, unquakeable substance that flows in a continuous stream above and beyond any circumstance. My love will carry great reward. The joy is always worth the price. When you are in the midst of struggles you must believe it. Come into the Joy of intimacy with Me. Taste the joys of Heaven frequently. Let me be your ever living stream of never ceasing love, radiating through you like never before. Learn to love like never before. Love when it’s messy, amidst the stinky manure feet you are cleaning. Never let the repulsion of sin overbear the radiance of My love. I’ve come to save them from sin with the power of My love. You will get dirty. When I wiped their feet with the towel from MY body, it marked me. But I was so knowing of who I was on the inside, that My love never was limited on the outside. I was overwhelmed By My love for them..... more than the suffering of the cross physically, was the pain of separation for the gain of abiding, never ceasing love. So I ask that you abide in My love. Abide deeply and hide yourself in the depths of My heart, and it will seem but a moment( this temporary suffering) because of the Love that we have, until heaven’s ecstatic joyous unity is completely ours and the marriage supper of the Lamb, has come.